I think part of my problem is that I don’t have a specialty or any creative originality. Sure, I’m interested in lots of things, but what am I contributing? I really want to make something but I don’t know what or how.

I’ve always been this way. I flit about between subjects without ever truly knowing enough to contribute anything back. This was why becoming a librarian was so appealing to me, because it encompasses so much. Not that I’m even doing that.

I’ve been knitting and I think I’m actually quite good at it. But I’ve never really designed any sort of pattern and I wouldn’t know where to start that hadn’t already been done. I suppose I need more than a few more years experience.

I don’t feel there’s anything wrong with all this, so why can’t I rid myself of this urge to make?

I want alpacas.

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